Every morning Levi and I have a routine. It flexes, of course, but it goes something like this: wake up, nurse, play; breakfast around 7:00, more playtime, nurse and nap around 9:00.
Since there’s better light in the room at 9:00 versus 5:30 (he’s an early bird), I try to spend that nursing time reading my Bible and praying. Finding time during the day for reading and focused prayer can be so hard! But it makes such a difference if I do it.
Yesterday morning I was especially tired. Levi had been up a few times during the night, and I was frustrated and discouraged that my once-perfectly-sleeping baby was now a waker-upper. I really love my sleep. REALLY love my sleep. I had gotten angry with him during the night and was harsh and unsympathetic; maybe in part due to the fact that I couldn’t walk straight by the third time getting up. Regardless, I went back to bed hating how I’d acted with him.
When I had my quiet time yesterday morning, I read through Proverbs 14 and had to pause at verse 29:
“He who is slow to wrath has great understanding,
But he who is impulsive exalts folly.”
I realized that was 100% applicable to the night I’d just had. Slow to wrath? Um nope, I was definitely quick to get angry. I impulsively acted out of anger and frustration and treated my little boy like I shouldn’t have.
I thought some more. Being slow to wrath means having great understanding… why? Because it’s not just jumping to conclusions and assuming I know everything about the situation. It’s taking a step back and realizing I may not have all the pieces — was Levi awake and unhappy because he had a full diaper and didn’t want to sleep? Maybe, but maybe there was more. Maybe his belly was empty, or hurting. Maybe his gums were sore from new teeth.
If I had taken a few deep breaths as I walked around with him and tried to understand, I may not have acted out of anger.
I texted Josh on his break and shared the verse and my conviction; we promised to start fresh. If Levi got up that night, we’d breathe and ask God to help us understand. To be slow to wrath.
He did get up last night, and we both had the opportunity to put the verse into practice. It was a bit of a struggle after an hour of trying to put Levi back down, but it was a much better night that the previous one.
Just like in the Veggie Tales song, God’s way is the best way! It was still a rough night, but I don’t have to look back with regret for my actions. We made it through much better. Are there any points in your life right now that this verse could be applied to? You may or may not be up with a little one at night, but maybe at work? home? school? driving around?
Think about it, and have a wonderful Wednesday. :)