I’m not really one to celebrate big on Valentine’s Day. One day in the year to celebrate love? I mean, shouldn’t love be celebrated a little more often than that? I’m slightly kidding; a day dedicated to expressing love isn’t a bad idea. :)
This year, I got to thinking about the holiday a bit more. Over the past year and a half of marriage I’ve learned a lot — patience, trust, how to be romantic (so not natural for me), servanthood… Originally I was going to share some thoughts about communication and asking each other questions, but there’s something else I’d like to share instead.
Love is worth the wait.
Thinking back to my years in high school and afterwards as I so desperately wanted a long-term boyfriend. I was pretty impatient! I always kept an eye out wherever I went — maybe I’d meet my husband in class, or at a coffee shop, or even at church. Maybe he was the one sitting a few seats over; what if he was the one who stopped for gas next to me? It seemed silly, on one hand, but on the other I knew anything was possible and therefore there were no limits to how it could play out.
As I looked and looked, I reminded myself to pray and seek God’s leading. Every relationship is so different, and the methods of dating/courting/getting to know each other vary so much — God leads how He does and our job is to be attentive and obedient. Day after day I prayed that I would see what He wanted me to see, who He wanted me to see.
We got married young, I suppose, but it felt like I’d waited forever. (And truth be told, I did wait years for Josh specifically. That’s a story for another time.) So many times I questioned why I was waiting, why I was holding out to find someone who met certain characteristics. Was I being too rigid? Was I missing out when I didn’t need to be? I prayed and prayed, frustrated yet wanting to be solely led by God.
When Josh and I started getting to know each other, I realized I had been waiting for him. He was the one whose character met what I’d prayed for — and he was even more than that.
I could’ve pursued other relationships and made other choices. I think finding “the one” is a myth that we do no good seeking after. But I believe that while maintaining standards and consistently praying can mean waiting, that wait is worthwhile.
God knows from the start whether or not we’ll get married. He also knows who we’ll marry, if we do. Your story will look different than mine and the next reader’s, and that’s okay. In fact, it’s beautiful that way. There’s no secret formula or special path to take; wait on God’s direction and follow where He leads. He will guide you and bring you right to where is best for you as you humbly and sincerely seek Him.
Josh and I didn’t meet in a coffee shop or at church; we met in a totally unconventional way, and had a pretty unconventional friendship and dating relationship. It wasn’t at all what I’d imagined. But we each trusted God to lead it, and He brought us together in marriage. Which was (is) awesome.
Maybe you’re already married and have seen God’s hand in your relationship, whether from the start or in the middle or later — so I have a request. Would you share in the comments how you’ve seen Him work in your relationship? It could be one example, or two, or three, or more… I’d love to hear your specific stories, and I’m sure others would enjoy reading through them as well! If you’re single and waiting, check back for encouragement. Love is worth the wait. ;)