A Worthwhile Wait

I’m not really one to celebrate big on Valentine’s Day.  One day in the year to celebrate love?  I mean, shouldn’t love be celebrated a little more often than that?  I’m slightly kidding; a day dedicated to expressing love isn’t a bad idea.  :)

This year, I got to thinking about the holiday a bit more.  Over the past year and a half of marriage I’ve learned a lot — patience, trust, how to be romantic (so not natural for me), servanthood…  Originally I was going to share some thoughts about communication and asking each other questions, but there’s something else I’d like to share instead.

Love is worth the wait. 

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Thinking back to my years in high school and afterwards as I so desperately wanted a long-term boyfriend.  I was pretty impatient!  I always kept an eye out wherever I went — maybe I’d meet my husband in class, or at a coffee shop, or even at church.  Maybe he was the one sitting a few seats over; what if he was the one who stopped for gas next to me?  It seemed silly, on one hand, but on the other I knew anything was possible and therefore there were no limits to how it could play out.

As I looked and looked, I reminded myself to pray and seek God’s leading.  Every relationship is so different, and the methods of dating/courting/getting to know each other vary so much — God leads how He does and our job is to be attentive and obedient.  Day after day I prayed that I would see what He wanted me to see, who He wanted me to see.

We got married young, I suppose, but it felt like I’d waited forever.  (And truth be told, I did wait years for Josh specifically.  That’s a story for another time.)  So many times I questioned why I was waiting, why I was holding out to find someone who met certain characteristics.  Was I being too rigid?  Was I missing out when I didn’t need to be?  I prayed and prayed, frustrated yet wanting to be solely led by God.

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When Josh and I started getting to know each other, I realized I had been waiting for him.  He was the one whose character met what I’d prayed for — and he was even more than that.

I could’ve pursued other relationships and made other choices.  I think finding “the one” is a myth that we do no good seeking after.  But I believe that while maintaining standards and consistently praying can mean waiting, that wait is worthwhile.

God knows from the start whether or not we’ll get married.  He also knows who we’ll marry, if we do.  Your story will look different than mine and the next reader’s, and that’s okay.  In fact, it’s beautiful that way.  There’s no secret formula or special path to take; wait on God’s direction and follow where He leads.  He will guide you and bring you right to where is best for you as you humbly and sincerely seek Him.

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Josh and I didn’t meet in a coffee shop or at church; we met in a totally unconventional way, and had a pretty unconventional friendship and dating relationship.  It wasn’t at all what I’d imagined.  But we each trusted God to lead it, and He brought us together in marriage.  Which was (is) awesome.

Maybe you’re already married and have seen God’s hand in your relationship, whether from the start or in the middle or later — so I have a request.  Would you share in the comments how you’ve seen Him work in your relationship?  It could be one example, or two, or three, or more…  I’d love to hear your specific stories, and I’m sure others would enjoy reading through them as well!  If you’re single and waiting, check back for encouragement.  Love is worth the wait.  ;)

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6 thoughts on “A Worthwhile Wait

  1. My husband and I met when I was 15 and he was 16. We waited a LONG time to get married, because he went to West Point and cadets are not allowed to get married. We grew up together as teens and then as young marrieds, him 22 and me 21. We’ve had our ups and downs, but through it all we’ve been faithful and loved each other dearly. I’m thankful for the commitment we share to our marriage. It protected us in some hard times when we didn’t “feel” in love. Now, 37 years later, we know each other so well and there’s no one’s company we’d rather have than the other’s. Marriage is worth the wait and waiting on God for help through the hard things in marriage is worth it, too! Growing old together is a rare and beautiful GIFT, and getting through to the other side of the rough spots? In the end, that’s part of what makes you so close. <3 I am so grateful for a forever marriage!!

    • I didn’t know all of that — how sweet! Thanks for commenting; I was hoping to read some stories and encouragement from those who have been married much longer. I’m looking forward to growing old together and experiencing that gift. <3

  2. When your dad and I started dating, I remember knowing in my heart that this was the man God had for me to marry. Because of that, I really had to be patient. I prayed for him and for the patience to not rush things. I wanted to move on with the married life so bad! :) God taught me a lot about respecting Dad and trusting God.

    Over the years, we’ve had the joy of raising you and your brother, of seeing you and Josh get married, and of becoming grandparents. We’ve felt the sadness of losing older family members, the stress of living on one income and renovating a house, the stress of a couple of job changes, and many other ups and downs. I love what Sharon wrote above, “I’m thankful for the commitment we share to our marriage. It protected us in some hard times when we didn’t “feel” in love.” I could not state that any better.

    We’ve prayed for each other, prayed with each other, laughed and cried together. All of life’s experiences together have bonded us as a couple, and we keep getting closer every year. That’s my prayer for you and Josh as well.

    Happy Valentine’s Day!
    Love, Mom

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