At the start of 2017, I determined this year I would work on a specific area. You may recall the post I wrote; if you missed it, you can read it here. God reminded me of many ways He’d provided for us last year, and gently convicted me to put an end to my worrying and stress (Matthew 6:25-34).
Fast-forward like, two days. I’m already stressed and worrying about this coming year. We want to have more babies. We want to adopt. We’d also really like a house. And next year, 2018, we’ll need to travel out of the country for a very special occasion. How are we going to save for and afford these things?
I tried talking myself down and telling myself not to panic.
Didn’t last long.
I let the worry consume me and eat me up. Combine that with a lack of sleep and I started getting ugly.
Then, cue the turkey.
I sat in my truck on the side of the road hyperventilating, with the baby in the back and little glass shards covering everything. It had happened fast; one turkey flew across the road so I immediately slowed down in case another one appeared. It did; came up over the guardrail, fluttered around, and slammed right into my windshield.
The rest of that day was a blur. Phone calls, emails, phone calls, cleaning, more phone calls, caring for Levi (and thanking my mom for her help watching him!), figuring out what to do. Who to pay. How much to pay. What a mess.
I won’t downplay the damage and chaos caused by an 18-20lb. bowling ball. But it could’ve been worse. Levi and I were fine, and the insurance stuff eventually all worked out. My new windshield is nice and clean. :)
While the turkey thankfully missed my head, I did get a little mental slap. My resolution to work on worrying? Yeah, how was that going? Terribly? Mmhmm.
After the dust settled I stopped myself to think and reevaluate. Ugly stress is just that — ugly. Regardless of what I may think, it isn’t necessary. Really; stress isn’t necessary.
What good does it do? It cripples and binds us, and leads us to believe lies that just spin us downward. It never brings us up, does it? Hanging on feels good, and it seems scary to let go and enter the unknown — but we enter the unknown no matter what. With or without stress.
I mulled it over and over and finally decided I was done. Yesterday as I wrote Levi’s blog post I purposefully ended with him saying it was going to be a good day. Why? Because even when crap hits the fan, the day can still be good. It’s a choice; and stress is always a choice.
So, I’m starting my resolution again (that’s a new one, huh?). I’ll probably have to re-start quite a few times. But I’m not worried about it. ;)