From My Journal

Below is an excerpt from my journal, written as a prayer this afternoon. 

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Lord, thank You for Levi.  Thank You for the sweet miracle and blessing he is.  I still can’t believe I have a son — I grew and birthed a baby?! — yet I can’t imagine life without him.

Thank You, thank You, thank You for him.  For giving him to us, and for giving him to us now.  He is so precious.  I saw photos earlier today of a couple and their daughter, born and passed at what, 34 weeks?  Oh God.  It makes my eyes water.  To nurture and feel that living baby for so long, go through all of it — to have her swept up to Heaven before you could watch her smile.  See her breathe.  Watch her eyes and limbs move.  Father, I don’t understand.  I trust You, but I don’t understand.  Continue to comfort and strengthen that family, Lord.  Thank You for giving them faith and hope.

Father, thank You for our little (huge) blessing of a boy.  I adore him.  I love how big his eyes are, how he gets a sheepish grin when he sees me, how he screams and shouts and gets all happy at any point in the day.  I love his little o-face, how he watches everything.  I love how much he loves life and doesn’t want to miss any of it.  He’s the sweetest thing, Lord.

You didn’t have to give him to us.  But You chose us to be his parents, and I trust You to equip us.  We can’t do it without You.  Help us to savor every moment, to remember as much as we can.  And Lord, help us to love him unconditionally and recklessly.  Thank You, Father.  You are so good.

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